


Coming Home

by virgilsjourney (jenna221b)



Series: Learning & Loving [21]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bullying, Confrontations, Controlling Behaviour, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Freshman Year, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Virgil, Logan being a great friend, M/M, Male Antagonist, Patton being a great friend, Pre-Relationship, Prologue, Roman being a great friend, flustered I might have a crush!Roman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 10:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13878966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenna221b/pseuds/virgilsjourney
Summary: Dorian sips his coffee slowly. “I just don’t know why you hang about with him, that’s all.”Virgil shifts in his seat. “It’s no big deal, it’s just we’re- we’re friends, I guess-”Dorian laughs quietly. “Oh, please. I think he just loves the attention.”-------------------Second Part of a Prologue to this series





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning: No physical abuse, but there are instances of bullying/controlling behaviour. These are presented as ‘warning signs’, as Virgil escapes from fully entering a toxic relationship.

It turns out that the water in Virgil’s dorms gets fixed while he’s meeting Logan, leaving him without an excuse to go visit Roman’s dorms. 

Virgil is sure he imagines how Roman deflates a little. “Aw, come round anyway! I always put on some Disney movies and order in-”

“ _Again?_ ” Logan says, swiftly avoiding Roman trying to kick him. “It’s been a  _week_ , and I feel like I’ve seen more disney than I  _ever_  did when I was young.”

Roman takes a deep breath, filled with tragedy. “I’m  _so_ sorry for your childhood,” he says, with all the seriousness of a Shakespearean actor, and Virgil fights to stop himself from snorting and embarrassing himself. 

He likes Roman and Logan’s friendship- it’s a little odd couple-y, but it works, somehow. Logan is clearly one of the most efficient students on campus (Virgil eyes his folder of already complete submissions with awe), but he is still willing to go along with Roman's antics.  It’s teasing but gentle, with clear fondness behind it. Usually he’d be a bit cynical about such a strong bond happening within the first week of term, but he can sense, somehow, that it’s genuine. He can tell that Roman especially throws himself into such friendships, as he spots his phone lock screen: a photo of all three of them, Roman in the foreground, Logan rolling his eyes, and another boy, grinning, making the ‘peace’ sign.

Roman catches him looking. But, rather than be offended, he brings the screen closer to Virgil. “Oh, yeah, that’s all of us! Me, Logan and Patton.”

Eventually, Roman convinces Logan to stop studying ( “I don’t think they’ll give us an exam  _just_  yet, Microsoft Nerd”), and they head to Logan’s car ( “since I am basically your glorified taxi service already,”).

Virgil declines the offer of a lift back to his own dorms- they’re in separate complexes, anyway, he doesn’t want to be any trouble... He waves them off, and walks the rest of the way, feeling both more and less lonely than he was before.

* * *

Virgil does end up meeting Dorian for coffee, out of fear of seeming rude or stand-offish. There’s a lot of conversation where Dorian mostly talks  _at_ him, but Virgil doesn’t mind that much, it means he gets to worry less about sounding stupid or thinking of something worth saying. He learns that Dorian has already graduated, and his job at the theater is just something he “tolerates” for now.

Dorian says that he sounds far more intelligent than the usual idiots he’s come to know from the college. Virgil does not really know if that’s a compliment or not.

“Same time next week?” Dorian asks, but he doesn’t really  _ask_ , his voice stays the same, flat and  _assumptive,_  and Virgil is automatically agreeing before he can find a way out.

* * *

What becomes a much nicer routine is that, after classes are over, Roman and Virgil will meet once a week after class, and go to the theater when the department have left. They fall into an ideal rhythm- they’ll hang around on the stage at first (because Dorian hasn’t arrived to turn the lights off yet, but what does that matter-), and then Roman will show Virgil around where the costumes and props are stored.

It’s very rare that they actually do any college work. Roman will sometimes sing (very very quietly) on stage, and Virgil makes sure not to look at him too much to not put him off.

Finally, when they’ve found the last section of costumes, and Roman is pulling out hanger after hanger, does Virgil find the opportunity to ask.

“Hey Roman?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Why do you-” He stops, unsure. Is this prying? Are they even friends yet, will Roman think he’s out of line? What if-

“Why do I?” Roman prompts. Virgil is encouraged by this tone- no hostility, only gentle curiosity and openness. 

“Why do you come here when no-one from the department can hear you sing? But- it’s- it’s really good, it’s just-”  _“you’re wasting it on me”_  he tries to add but Roman has already cut him off before he can get near that.

“I mean...” He sighs, shoulders dropping. “It’s a fair question. I- I trust you, okay? You wouldn’t- that’s- I mean, don’t-”

“Of  _course_  I wouldn’t tell anyone,” Virgil reassures.

Roman nods, and smiles but it slips off his face very quickly. “I... I get stage fright-um- sometimes. And I’m trying to get better at managing it and this- this helps, I guess,” he says in a very small voice.

It’s definitely not what Virgil expected to hear. And, Roman must take his silence for judgment, because he’s quickly rambling, “Look, I know it’s stupid, I just can’t-”

“Not stupid,” Virgil says. “Normal.”

Roman stops talking abruptly. “Oh. Wow- um... thanks, Virgil.”  

* * *

Dorian sips his coffee slowly. “I just don’t know why you hang about with him, that’s all.”

Virgil shifts in his seat. “It’s no big deal, it’s just we’re- we’re friends, I guess-”

Dorian laughs quietly. “Oh, please. I think he just loves the attention.”

Virgil doesn’t reply, quickly knocking back his own drink just so he doesn’t have to speak. It burns his tongue. 

* * *

One evening, they stay at the theatre longer than they’re meant to. They lose track of time, Roman practically skipping up the steps to the stage.

“So, you’re telling me, you’ve _never_ seen The Sound of Music?”

“Yeah, but so what-”

“So Mary Poppins is the  _only_  thing you’ve seen Julie Andrews being majestic in?”

Virgil can’t help giggling. “I guess so-”

Roman twirls on stage, with a sweeping hand gesture. “So you have never, and I mean never heard _the hills are alive...!_ ”

Virgil tries not to look too shocked at Roman randomly bursting into song. But, with something like pride, he notes how Roman’s voice already sounds far stronger, far far more confident.

Before he can say anything, the lights go out.

“There you are,” Dorian says, from the last row of seats. “You’re late. Time to go.”

Roman rolls his eyes (Virgil is sure he only does it because he knows Dorian can’t see), but hops off the stage.

“Did you know you were singing a  _girl’s_  song?” Dorian adds, as if that matters. 

Virgil wants to say _“So what?”_  but the words won’t come. Roman’s jaw twitches.

The next time Dorian enters to lock up, Roman starts very loudly and obnoxiously singing [I have confidence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gODXADEKkA), and Virgil has to quickly duck his head to hide his smile.

* * *

He stops smiling that night. 

Roman stops him before he goes to leave for the café with Dorian. He flashes Dorian a very fake smile, then passes Virgil a folded sheet of paper. Virgil can sense that he wants to say more, but Dorian is already walking away, expecting him to follow before Virgil can ask.

At their table, Virgil unfolds the paper to see it’s Roman, Logan and Patton’s phone numbers, the paper dotted with stars that Virgil can tell Roman doodled.

Dorian scoffs. “Why would he give you that?”

Virgil stares at his coffee rather than look him in the eye. “Because he wanted to?”

There’s a long silence. Virgil doesn’t dare look up. “I’m- restroom- I’ll...”

He sits in the stall for far too long, just breathing. When he comes back, he sees that the paper has gone, and something in his stomach drops.

“Wh-where...?”

Dorian just stares at him, sipping his drink slowly. When he lowers his cup, he smirks. “Where is what?” he says, all faux innocence.

Virgil curses himself from not remembering the numbers, for not taking a picture, stupid  _stupid_... He feels a constriction in his chest, like a cage- which he suddenly knows is Dorian’s desired effect.

Every meeting with Roman, cut short by Dorian. Every time Virgil wished he was at Roman’s dorms, and not here in this café... every time Dorian pushed to meet up again.

_Fight or flight; fight or flight; fight or-_

He recoils back so quickly that he knocks over a chair. Dorian’s eyebrows raise.

“St-stay  _away_  from me,” Virgil gasps out, and then he runs.

* * *

The next day, Virgil goes to classes, but feels like he’s looking over his shoulder the whole time. He doesn’t wait at the library for Roman, instead heading straight for his room, and locking the door shut. None of his dormmates are in- but this time the silence is unnerving rather than relaxing.

He lies on his bed, thinking that might relax him, but his whole body feels like a tightly wound coil of nervous energy. In the space of 10 minutes, his phone rings three times, which only makes him curl in on himself even tighter. He squeezes his eyes shut, his mind a never-ending spiral of  _that must be Dorian, it must be, who else, but who, I never gave him my number, but maybe he found out, oh god oh god oh god, don’tpickupjustdon’t._

Then, the phone just beeps once. Virgil opens his eyes. A text. It’s just a stupid text, he doesn’t _need_  to reply straightaway, come on, just look...

He takes a deep breath, and swipes at the screen, ignoring the three missed calls from a number he doesn’t recognise. He opens the text- another unknown number- and reads:

_Hello, Virgil. Just to ask if you’re well? Roman says he didn’t meet you after class today, and is quite concerned. He may have tried to contact you already. Best wishes, Logan_

Virgil breathes out. This he can handle. Just make up an excuse, ‘sorry some stuff came up’, nice and vague...

Someone is knocking on the front door, loud, fierce raps of the knuckles, on and on and on- Virgil flinches, accidentally sending back nonsense to Logan:

_sorry i dkfghdh_

A reply pops up immediately:  _?_

“Virgil?” The voice is teasing and aggressive all at once. Dorian. “I know you must be in there, there’s no point lying about it.”

Virgil clenches his phone, his chest growing tighter and tighter- and then his phone vibrates, and he jumps violently. He picks up, unsure if he’ll even be capable of speaking, and hears Logan’s voice:

“Hello? Virgil? _Yes_ , Roman, I’m just- shut up a moment, I can barely hear myself think. Virgil? Are you okay?”

Virgil shakes his head as his breathing quickens.  _Idiot, they can’t see you._

Suddenly, he hears Roman’s voice in the background of the call. “I knew it, that  _snake_ wasn’t at theatre and- Virgil! Look, we’re  _here_  if you need us, just-”

And, even in this state, Virgil can’t deny the sincerity in Roman’s voice. He says the hardest word before he even has time to take a breath again, before he can talk himself out of it:  _“H-help.”_  His voice is so quiet, he’s not even sure if anyone’s heard.

But, the line goes silent for one long moment. “Right,” Logan says, determined and steely, and then hangs up. The phone chimes again:

_It’s Roman. Can you pack a bag? Just like overnight stuff._

_Five minutes, okay? <3_

“Five minutes  _what?_ ” Virgil breathes, then jumps as Dorian continues to knock. 

He sits up and stands, shakily, trying to drown the sound out with his own thoughts. Breathe. Just breathe. One thing at a time, you can do this: bag, clothes, toothbrush. He carries the tasks out unquestioningly, and it’s a relief just to focus on doing one thing after the other. He zips the bag up just as he hears a car horn sound outside. He flinches again, but this time, it’s... good. Somehow he knows this is for him.

He gets to the front door, and reaches for the handle, forced to steady his shaking hand with the other. When he opens the door, he is faced with two people: Dorian, wearing a very thin lipped smile and... Virgil blinks, but then he recognises the face from Roman’s phone screen. Blue eyes, behind square glasses. This must be Patton.

Patton’s eyes flicker between Virgil and Dorian. “What’s up?” he says, and even though he sounds very upbeat, Virgil can sense the undercurrent of strength behind the words.

Dorian’s face twitches as he tries to keep smiling. “Oh, _nothing_ ,” he says. “Virgil and I just had a little misunderstanding, but everything’s fine now.” He fixes his sight on Virgil. “Isn’t that right, Virgil?”

Virgil feels his throat go dry. He opens his mouth to protest but no sound comes out. Dorian’s smile grows. He makes to dart into the dorms and close the door, but suddenly Patton’s foot is blocking the door.

He smiles at Dorian sweetly. “Sorry. Family emergency, we have to go.”

Dorian stares at him. “And who are  _you?_ ”

“Virgil’s cousin,” Patton replies, so quickly and smoothly that Virgil feels his head reeling. Then he turns to Virgil, and his eyes soften. “Ready to go?”

Virgil nods faintly. As Patton removes his foot, he pushes the door open wide, forcing Dorian to stumble backwards into the hall. He does not look at him. He  _will not_ look at him. He shuts the door with a swift kick, and turns to see Patton holding out his hand to him. Virgil takes it, and does not look back.

They just sit in Patton’s car for a few minutes, until Patton coughs gently and says, “I... was gonna drive back to my dorms. Is that okay with you?”

Virgil swallows, and nods.

“Oh, and I’m Patton!”

Virgil nods again. He tries to smile. “I know.”

It doesn’t happen when the car starts up, or when Patton reverses, and begins the drive. It doesn’t happen when they’re waiting in traffic. It doesn’t happen when Patton’s pulling into his dorms’ parking lot.

But, when Patton finally parks, and Virgil happens to look up, and sees a face in the third upper window-  _Roman_ \- waving... it happens. He finally breathes out properly, his body registering it’s _safe safe safe_ , and with that comes... release. Tears. Sudden and bitten back in Patton’s car, as Virgil’s embarrassment overrides everything because, oh god, they’ve only just met and this is the _worst_ first impression and-

“Hey, it’s okay,” Patton says, leaning over to squeeze Virgil’s shoulder. “If you need to let it out, let it out.”

Virgil presses the heels of his hands against his eyes once, then twice, and sniffs, composing himself. “N-no, it’s- I’m good, now.”

Patton smiles a little sadly- as if he is familiar with the lie behind his words- and reaches for Virgil’s bag. 

“Well, you just take all the time you need. How about I take this inside for you, yeah?”

Virgil slowly follows Patton inside, once he’s sure his face is dry. He is also sure that there’s telltale red blotches around his eyes, but there’s little he can do about that, now. 

He climbs up the stairs slowly, making sure Patton is quite a bit in front of him as he takes everything in. It’s warm in here, comfortably so, and he can smell cookies baking as Patton opens their front door. 

In the corridor, there are four doors on the left- bedrooms, Virgil thinks- and one door to the right leading to the kitchen. 

“Patton,” he says, and is proud at how his voice doesn’t shake. “I can take my bag. And... thank you. I... yeah.”

Patton turns around and beams, handing Virgil his bag. “No problem, kiddo! Any time, I mean it. Now, you just-” He nods towards the doors vaguely. “Feel free to make yourself at home!”

Patton heads into the kitchen. Virgil stays put in the corridor, uncertain, but smiles as he can make out some of Patton and Logan’s low voices as they chat. His smile broadens in surprise as he distinctly hears Logan say, “That  _bastard_ -”

He straightens his back, glancing at the closed doors. Roman must be in his room, then, but maybe he’s working and doesn’t want-

Virgil stares at the fourth door. He blinks, and blinks, and walks towards it, as if it’s a trick of the light. 

 _“What?”_  he says, staring at the sign on the door, fingers hovering so close to it. But it’s there, unmistakable: Virgil, written in purple paint with great looping letters.

The door opens and Virgil stumbles backwards as Roman steps forward. He looks a little stressed, cheeks tinged pink.

“Hey! Are you okay?!” But he doesn’t even give Virgil room to reply, as he babbles on: “Thanks for taking Logan’s call, I was so  _worried_ , and I- sorry, I was trying to get things ready for you but it’s not quite finished-”

“What- what do you mean?”

Roman steps backwards with a smile, and Virgil follows him into the room. He can see the bed, still in the process of being made and... and... well, that’s all, really. There are no personalisations that he’s used to seeing, and part of his mind has already guessed it from seeing the sign, but... he has to be sure.

“Who’s room is-?”

Roman’s smile grows. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! Our fourth dorm-mate dropped out before the semester even started so we’ve always had this spare room. It’s- it’s like fate!” he says, with a dramatic hand punch to the air.

Virgil stares.

Roman sobers a bit, eyes looking down. “Anyway- it’s... it’s yours, if you want it to be.”

Virgil sets down his bag. He looks around the room again, noticing a little more details, like how the bedding has clearly been purchased recently, how the desk has some new pens sat on it, along with sticky tape, for posters, maybe. It’s tiny touches of thoughtfulness, and Virgil knows they came from Roman. All for  _him_.

It’s... overwhelming. Virgil knows he’s not completely alright yet, and there’s more talks to be had, but for now... there’s this. 

He hugs Roman quickly, smiling at how Roman stumbles, but quickly catches himself. 

“Yeah, I-” He chokes up a bit, but tries to push through it. “I do. Want. Um- th-thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” Roman says softly. Virgil is grateful that Roman lets his face remain hidden, as if he knows that he doesn’t want to be seen crying again. And then, Roman says, in a rush, “Also can we finally have that disney marathon tonight? Cause I’d been holding off before Logan exploded, but you’re here now, and I don’t think he’d want to spoil the welcoming mood by murdering me.”

Virgil laughs, and nods, but stays where he is, allowing Roman to hold him up just for a few moments longer. He finally feels like he’s home.


End file.
